Do you dare to dream?
I have to admit - I love womens conferences, and girly nights, so how blessed was I when Ann invited me to attend 'Dreams, Denim and Dance' womens night at her church River Church, er I mean Riverview.
The night was awesome, filled with lots of music, dancing and inspiration on reaching for your dreams. Something that I have never really thought about seriously till last night. What was my dream?
You know if you would have asked me last week what I saw myself doing the the future I wouldn't be able to tell you. If you were to ask me what my 'gifts' were (and even now, I think) I would be struggling to think of anything. But last night before I went to bed I sat down and thought long and hard about what my passions and future dreams were for myself versus what my dreams were as a child, and I think I've come to some vague comprehension.
I want to get married. - As a little girl, I used to dream about getting married, having a wonderful husband that loved me no matter what. But long the way, growing up through my parents divorce, I lost that dream. And as much as I tell everyone that I don't really mind being alone I think deep down inside there is still that little girl dream of meeting my prince charming and having a family of my own. In saying that though, doesnt mean I'm going to get hitched to the first Joe Schmoe that shows me a flicker of attention - I still have standards, you know...
I want to touch peoples lives. - Whether this is one persons life, or multiple, I dont know. But I do know want to share my heart with others.
I have a passion for womens ministrys - I love the idea of empowering women to live lives to their full potential, and I think thats why I love womens conferences.
These are just a few of the things I thought of last night. Some I feel are pretty bold, and some I feel require a strength and a courage which is beyond me, but I just think if God can Moses a great leader despite his stutter, God can achieve anything in all of us if its His Will. The question is: Do you dare to dream?
The night was awesome, filled with lots of music, dancing and inspiration on reaching for your dreams. Something that I have never really thought about seriously till last night. What was my dream?
You know if you would have asked me last week what I saw myself doing the the future I wouldn't be able to tell you. If you were to ask me what my 'gifts' were (and even now, I think) I would be struggling to think of anything. But last night before I went to bed I sat down and thought long and hard about what my passions and future dreams were for myself versus what my dreams were as a child, and I think I've come to some vague comprehension.
I want to get married. - As a little girl, I used to dream about getting married, having a wonderful husband that loved me no matter what. But long the way, growing up through my parents divorce, I lost that dream. And as much as I tell everyone that I don't really mind being alone I think deep down inside there is still that little girl dream of meeting my prince charming and having a family of my own. In saying that though, doesnt mean I'm going to get hitched to the first Joe Schmoe that shows me a flicker of attention - I still have standards, you know...
I want to touch peoples lives. - Whether this is one persons life, or multiple, I dont know. But I do know want to share my heart with others.
I have a passion for womens ministrys - I love the idea of empowering women to live lives to their full potential, and I think thats why I love womens conferences.
These are just a few of the things I thought of last night. Some I feel are pretty bold, and some I feel require a strength and a courage which is beyond me, but I just think if God can Moses a great leader despite his stutter, God can achieve anything in all of us if its His Will. The question is: Do you dare to dream?
Theres no place like home.
Gods really put it in my heart to stay in Perth. Thats right, Perth. Which is a bit of a shock since I've only been ranting about going back to Hong Kong for the past 2 months or so now.
Hong Kong was awesome, I really loved it there and God only knows how much I want to go back. When I came back to Perth all I could think about was ways I could offload my furniture in order for me to move to HK more easily. I didn't want to get too much stuff or get too involved since, in my mind, I would be leaving soon anyways.
But I've been praying about it and something has become apparent: The reason why I wanted to be in Hong Kong was because I felt Gods presense strong there. Which, when I think about it now, is pretty silly really, because God is everywhere. But God's really opened my eyes to His presence and He wants me planted at Sunset Coast. God wants me to stop chasing Him in places and see I am exactly where I need to be: Perth.
Theres a sense of peace in accepting Gods will for you, and in accepting Gods will for me I am determined to be committed. If God wants me to be in Perth, well then I'm going to be in Perth 100%. I am going to be committed to my church, committed to my leaders and take ownership of it.
I am determined to be planted. And now after all is said and done, Perth is really starting to feel like home.
Hong Kong was awesome, I really loved it there and God only knows how much I want to go back. When I came back to Perth all I could think about was ways I could offload my furniture in order for me to move to HK more easily. I didn't want to get too much stuff or get too involved since, in my mind, I would be leaving soon anyways.
But I've been praying about it and something has become apparent: The reason why I wanted to be in Hong Kong was because I felt Gods presense strong there. Which, when I think about it now, is pretty silly really, because God is everywhere. But God's really opened my eyes to His presence and He wants me planted at Sunset Coast. God wants me to stop chasing Him in places and see I am exactly where I need to be: Perth.
Theres a sense of peace in accepting Gods will for you, and in accepting Gods will for me I am determined to be committed. If God wants me to be in Perth, well then I'm going to be in Perth 100%. I am going to be committed to my church, committed to my leaders and take ownership of it.
I am determined to be planted. And now after all is said and done, Perth is really starting to feel like home.
Patience Grasshopper.
Don't you just hate it when things are unclear? I know I do. I really need direction and when I'm in a situation where I am unsure what to do it really frustrates me.
For example for set up at church, I do it with a guy who isn't very good at explaining and directing me what to do. Often he would just walk off without a word, to do something else, leaving me standing there wondering what to do next with myself.
In situations where things are unclear I can get pretty perturbed. And then I get all gung-ho, rip the remote control out of Gods hands and attempt to make things happen myself, thinking "God you're not working fast enough, show me now - I can't wait all day!" Of course it is all in vain, because Gods timing is different to ours and as Pastor Gerard said in this month's newsletter: 'if what you're believing for is from God then the things needed to bring it to pass is time, patience and obedience.'
Instead of trying to force God to make things clear for me and give me direction now, when it suits me - I have to realise that he will bring things to pass in his own perfect timing.
Now, in the meanwhile, all I have to do is learn to be patient
For example for set up at church, I do it with a guy who isn't very good at explaining and directing me what to do. Often he would just walk off without a word, to do something else, leaving me standing there wondering what to do next with myself.
In situations where things are unclear I can get pretty perturbed. And then I get all gung-ho, rip the remote control out of Gods hands and attempt to make things happen myself, thinking "God you're not working fast enough, show me now - I can't wait all day!" Of course it is all in vain, because Gods timing is different to ours and as Pastor Gerard said in this month's newsletter: 'if what you're believing for is from God then the things needed to bring it to pass is time, patience and obedience.'
Instead of trying to force God to make things clear for me and give me direction now, when it suits me - I have to realise that he will bring things to pass in his own perfect timing.
Now, in the meanwhile, all I have to do is learn to be patient
In All faithfulness
Yesterday I was at my first proper leaders meeting, and as I sat there and listened to Michael, our youth pastor, preach - I had to sit back for a minute and think: "what am I - of all people - doing here?"
I've never seen myself to be anywhere close to having leadership skills, and this is coming from a 22 year old woman who still gets picked on by her 7 year old baby cousins. As I sat there amongst all those people whom I admire for their dedication and strength in their roles of leadership - I could't help but feel a bit like an impostor. That's right, an impostor. An impostor who somehow managed to be asked to be the second in charge to Ruth Robertson, a woman whom I both deeply admire for her quiet strength and diligence.
Not only that, but in the 4 short months I have been at Sunset Coast I have been asked to serve in other areas: On the multimedia team, as an usher, and also not the mention on the setup and pack down (A.K.A, The-Can-Do) team. Talk about getting planted!
I went from feeling like "I don't fit in and nobody likes me" to now being more blessed than ever and so planted in this church. And all I can say is that God has been faithful to me.
Through all those times I didn't want to do it, and through all those times I didn't even feel like going - I stayed faithful to God and went to every meeting, and every event because I knew that's where He wanted me to be - with others who would help me grow. In those times when it was dark I put those blinkers on and just kept on walking forward - just knowing and being expectant that God was (and is) going to catch me.
And as I continue to trust Him and step forward in faith God has done nothing but bless me.
Oh, and another thing: Remember how I said I wanted to move to Joondalup to be closer to church and university? And how God basically said to me "no Anna, you're staying where you are." And I, (after much complaining and whinging) obeyed and just stayed where I am? Well as soon as I accepted His decision, a girlfriend from Church asked me to move in with her in February next year - and guess where I'll be living? 5 mins from church and university, pretty much in the heart of Joondalup. How do you like them apples?
God is so faithful.
I've never seen myself to be anywhere close to having leadership skills, and this is coming from a 22 year old woman who still gets picked on by her 7 year old baby cousins. As I sat there amongst all those people whom I admire for their dedication and strength in their roles of leadership - I could't help but feel a bit like an impostor. That's right, an impostor. An impostor who somehow managed to be asked to be the second in charge to Ruth Robertson, a woman whom I both deeply admire for her quiet strength and diligence.
Not only that, but in the 4 short months I have been at Sunset Coast I have been asked to serve in other areas: On the multimedia team, as an usher, and also not the mention on the setup and pack down (A.K.A, The-Can-Do) team. Talk about getting planted!
I went from feeling like "I don't fit in and nobody likes me" to now being more blessed than ever and so planted in this church. And all I can say is that God has been faithful to me.
Through all those times I didn't want to do it, and through all those times I didn't even feel like going - I stayed faithful to God and went to every meeting, and every event because I knew that's where He wanted me to be - with others who would help me grow. In those times when it was dark I put those blinkers on and just kept on walking forward - just knowing and being expectant that God was (and is) going to catch me.
And as I continue to trust Him and step forward in faith God has done nothing but bless me.
Oh, and another thing: Remember how I said I wanted to move to Joondalup to be closer to church and university? And how God basically said to me "no Anna, you're staying where you are." And I, (after much complaining and whinging) obeyed and just stayed where I am? Well as soon as I accepted His decision, a girlfriend from Church asked me to move in with her in February next year - and guess where I'll be living? 5 mins from church and university, pretty much in the heart of Joondalup. How do you like them apples?
God is so faithful.
Life is abundant.
Just an update on whats been going on the past few weeks:
With the role of a 2IC comes responsibility and responsibility has always been something I shied away from because the way I see it, the less responsibility you have the less possibility there is for me to screw up.
I guess maybe I am just comfortable in my place in church at the moment or maybe just I don't see myself as capable to take on the role, but maybe Ruth sees something in me that I don't. Another leader at church said to me that if I had felt confidant in taking on the role it proberly wouldn't be as much a good thing as feeling inadequate (as I feel now), because when you feel like you can't, it's a perfect opportunity for you to rely on God's strength.
I've told Ruth I will do it, and I do really want to. But it's just me being me, and not wanting to disappoint anyone, I'm going to have to overcome this fear and really stretch myself.
"I can do everything though He who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13
I've come to the conclusion that the chances of me ever getting married are even more unlikely now, considering my list took up about 2 pages.
Am I being unrealistic? Hmm... okay so fine, so maybe they don't have to love cats as much as I do, or even like doing household chores, but they do have to love God more than they love me. Maybe I should scrap the whole list and put it down to that one point, for my own sake...
It also doesn't help that Murphy's law seems to be: if you see someone as a potential - the feeling is never mutual. Just as well really....
I can't remember a time my life I've felt any busier than this. And though amongst church, university and work, I have had hardly any time to myself (or even to write on this blog!). Everyday it's like I have to be somewhere, see someone, or do something. University work is a killer at the moment. I have so many large and time consuming assignments that have all conveniently arrived all at the same time that just trying to find time to do them is a huge time management task. As Andrew always jokes, I need a personal assistant!
- Ruths asked me to be her 2IC at church.
With the role of a 2IC comes responsibility and responsibility has always been something I shied away from because the way I see it, the less responsibility you have the less possibility there is for me to screw up.
I guess maybe I am just comfortable in my place in church at the moment or maybe just I don't see myself as capable to take on the role, but maybe Ruth sees something in me that I don't. Another leader at church said to me that if I had felt confidant in taking on the role it proberly wouldn't be as much a good thing as feeling inadequate (as I feel now), because when you feel like you can't, it's a perfect opportunity for you to rely on God's strength.
I've told Ruth I will do it, and I do really want to. But it's just me being me, and not wanting to disappoint anyone, I'm going to have to overcome this fear and really stretch myself.
"I can do everything though He who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13
- I've finally did my first *potential* husband criteria list.
I've come to the conclusion that the chances of me ever getting married are even more unlikely now, considering my list took up about 2 pages.
Am I being unrealistic? Hmm... okay so fine, so maybe they don't have to love cats as much as I do, or even like doing household chores, but they do have to love God more than they love me. Maybe I should scrap the whole list and put it down to that one point, for my own sake...
It also doesn't help that Murphy's law seems to be: if you see someone as a potential - the feeling is never mutual. Just as well really....
- There is never enough time. x2
I can't remember a time my life I've felt any busier than this. And though amongst church, university and work, I have had hardly any time to myself (or even to write on this blog!). Everyday it's like I have to be somewhere, see someone, or do something. University work is a killer at the moment. I have so many large and time consuming assignments that have all conveniently arrived all at the same time that just trying to find time to do them is a huge time management task. As Andrew always jokes, I need a personal assistant!