In waiting.
I feel like I am waiting.
Between stunted conversation
and veiled glances,
For those
poignant words
you are
too afraid to say.
(http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19867635/)
Click out the cliques.
When does a group of friends become a clique?
I honestly believe that in church life there shouldn't be such thing as cliques. Yes we have our close friends, friends who we can trust to share our lives and heart intimately with, but to have social cliques where there is an exclusiveness in a group of friends? No, church is not about winning a popularity contest.
We are called to love each other, even more so to love each other as ourselves. We should be continually drawing people to us. Continually scooping people into our lives including them. There should be no exclusiveness; only love, abundantly supplied.
I want to be someone who is consistant. I want to be someone who consistantly loving. I want to be someone who is approachable. I want to be someone who people know that when they approach me my response is always friendly and loving. I want to be predictable and consistant in my response so that no one would feel unsure about saying 'hello' to me. To have a friendliness without agenda.
I say this because I know first hand what its like to be around people who aren't consistant. People who will act like your best friend one day and then totally ignore you the other. I know whats its like to walk past someone and not feel sure if you should say 'hi' to them because you don't know how they will respond - or not respond. Yeah sure, we all get busy - but I never want to be someone who is too busy or focused at the job at hand to acknowledge someone by saying 'hello'.
With my friends, we can be all busy and never really get to speak to each other, but all it takes is a simple 'hello' that lets me know that everything is ok between us, and its just that we've been too busy to talk - thats all.
I've gotta keep expanding my heart, and keep welcoming people into the loop. Everyone is included, no one is not invited - because this is Gods house, and in Gods house, everyone is important and valuable.
I honestly believe that in church life there shouldn't be such thing as cliques. Yes we have our close friends, friends who we can trust to share our lives and heart intimately with, but to have social cliques where there is an exclusiveness in a group of friends? No, church is not about winning a popularity contest.
We are called to love each other, even more so to love each other as ourselves. We should be continually drawing people to us. Continually scooping people into our lives including them. There should be no exclusiveness; only love, abundantly supplied.
I want to be someone who is consistant. I want to be someone who consistantly loving. I want to be someone who is approachable. I want to be someone who people know that when they approach me my response is always friendly and loving. I want to be predictable and consistant in my response so that no one would feel unsure about saying 'hello' to me. To have a friendliness without agenda.
I say this because I know first hand what its like to be around people who aren't consistant. People who will act like your best friend one day and then totally ignore you the other. I know whats its like to walk past someone and not feel sure if you should say 'hi' to them because you don't know how they will respond - or not respond. Yeah sure, we all get busy - but I never want to be someone who is too busy or focused at the job at hand to acknowledge someone by saying 'hello'.
With my friends, we can be all busy and never really get to speak to each other, but all it takes is a simple 'hello' that lets me know that everything is ok between us, and its just that we've been too busy to talk - thats all.
I've gotta keep expanding my heart, and keep welcoming people into the loop. Everyone is included, no one is not invited - because this is Gods house, and in Gods house, everyone is important and valuable.
"This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples--when they see the love you have for each other." - John 13:35 (The Message)
The beauty of their dreams.
"Blessed are those whose strength is in God, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." - Psalms 84:5Have you ever had a dream or a vision so big for your life that you didn't know how you would achieve it or the roads you would travel to get there, but you would, in the end, get there?
I love dreams. I have always been a dreamer. I remember days when I was growing up all I would do is dream dreams for myself, dreams of where I would live, dreams of my career, and dreams of my own family. I have a journal where I articulate all my dreams. I write down dreams for every aspect of my life, anything from what I dream for the relationships in my life to my career to even what my dream home would look like. I dream about how I see myself in God, and I think about the paths I can take to achieve it. I love to dream because worthy God given dreams stretch us beyond our past and challenge our limits. It calls us to live larger than we thought we were.
Everyone needs a God given dream, a God given vision, a God given goal. Without a dream we can become complacent and comfortable where we are and settle for a mediocrity that God never intentioned us to have. God has created us for BIG things, He has created us to prosper us and give us hope. He has created us to dream His bigger dream.
I feel like I am about to venture out on a journey; where the road is going to take me I have no idea. All I know is that its going to take me somewhere great. I want to dream God's dream, I want to be passionate about His dream and faithfully walk out every step to fulfill it.
This road may be long, but its beautiful.
'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' - Eleanor Roosevelt
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I know, its half past two in the morning and I have to get up in about 5 hours, but I just had to write this.
My heart is filled with nothing but gratitude and thankfulness right now. So much so that I can't even sleep.
You know, God never ceases to amaze me. I love the way He likes to surprise me, or the way He proves me wrong in situations where I felt like there was no way out. I love the way God shows me He is in control, and that all I have to do is be a vessel, obediant and faithful. I love Him so much, and I know there is nothing I could ever do to repay Him for the sacrifice, blessing and love He has continually and faithfully shown me as I've been faithful to Him - there is nothing I can do but be thankful for all that He has done.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I can look back on things I've done and see what God was doing in that situation. Hindsight has given me a revealing view of my own motives and attitudes. Looking back, I can't even believe I wanted to give up helping with New Christians. I can't believe it. I can't believe that I was so centered on the stress I was feeling, and where I felt I was uncompetent in the flesh that I was willing to give away at a drop of a hat the blessing and breakthough that was waiting patiently for me just around the corner. Now that is hindsight.
I love New Christians. I love the primal aged girls, I really do love them. I love seeing them grow, and I love the passion they have when they start making the right choices. Its kinda ironically funny that God has given me such a heart for these girls. Me, who 6 months ago never even had a conversation with anyone remotely between the ages of 13-17, me, who didn't even know how to act around someone that age. If anything, they scared the crap out of me.
But its these girls who God has used to create a heart in me that even I didn't know I had. Come to think of it, I don't know whos benefiting more from this arrangement; me or them, because they have certainly have changed me. One thing these girls have taught me is to have a huge heart; these girls need alot of love, and the ones who need even more love are the ones who don't give back. It can be painful, but when they start to respond it is so rewarding.
I love them so much. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love their sense's of humor. I love how each girl is uniquely different and how they all respond differently to different things. I love our little correspondances. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love seeing them grow and like a baby, taking their own first steps to God. I love seeing God move in their lives, and their passion growing from their own intimate relationship with Him. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love seeing them mingle with other people. And I love seeing them lifting their hands during worship, lifting up God. I love how fun they are. Oh, and did I mention how I love all the dumb jokes we have?
When I think about these girls, my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude to God. I am so thankful for the blessing these girls have brought into my life and character God has cultivated in me (and continues to cultivate) by being faithful even when my flesh surely didn't want to. (I have to admit I think I would of almost had my way if I had pushed hard enough.)
Thank you Jesus for all that you have done and all that you continue to do.
My heart is filled with nothing but gratitude and thankfulness right now. So much so that I can't even sleep.
You know, God never ceases to amaze me. I love the way He likes to surprise me, or the way He proves me wrong in situations where I felt like there was no way out. I love the way God shows me He is in control, and that all I have to do is be a vessel, obediant and faithful. I love Him so much, and I know there is nothing I could ever do to repay Him for the sacrifice, blessing and love He has continually and faithfully shown me as I've been faithful to Him - there is nothing I can do but be thankful for all that He has done.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I can look back on things I've done and see what God was doing in that situation. Hindsight has given me a revealing view of my own motives and attitudes. Looking back, I can't even believe I wanted to give up helping with New Christians. I can't believe it. I can't believe that I was so centered on the stress I was feeling, and where I felt I was uncompetent in the flesh that I was willing to give away at a drop of a hat the blessing and breakthough that was waiting patiently for me just around the corner. Now that is hindsight.
I love New Christians. I love the primal aged girls, I really do love them. I love seeing them grow, and I love the passion they have when they start making the right choices. Its kinda ironically funny that God has given me such a heart for these girls. Me, who 6 months ago never even had a conversation with anyone remotely between the ages of 13-17, me, who didn't even know how to act around someone that age. If anything, they scared the crap out of me.
But its these girls who God has used to create a heart in me that even I didn't know I had. Come to think of it, I don't know whos benefiting more from this arrangement; me or them, because they have certainly have changed me. One thing these girls have taught me is to have a huge heart; these girls need alot of love, and the ones who need even more love are the ones who don't give back. It can be painful, but when they start to respond it is so rewarding.
I love them so much. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love their sense's of humor. I love how each girl is uniquely different and how they all respond differently to different things. I love our little correspondances. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love seeing them grow and like a baby, taking their own first steps to God. I love seeing God move in their lives, and their passion growing from their own intimate relationship with Him. I love all the dumb jokes we have. I love seeing them mingle with other people. And I love seeing them lifting their hands during worship, lifting up God. I love how fun they are. Oh, and did I mention how I love all the dumb jokes we have?
When I think about these girls, my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude to God. I am so thankful for the blessing these girls have brought into my life and character God has cultivated in me (and continues to cultivate) by being faithful even when my flesh surely didn't want to. (I have to admit I think I would of almost had my way if I had pushed hard enough.)
Thank you Jesus for all that you have done and all that you continue to do.
Eggshells.
Ugh.
Uncomfortable awkwardness. I hate it. Stunted conversations, unexpected responses. Sometimes accompanied with no response at all.
Just plain uncomfortable. And when that happens, whats there left to say? What else can be said to remove the stale air accumlating between frivolous words?
Sometimes I wonder if its just that we can't say what we mean. Or mean what we say.
I was once told that when you get along with someone you will just 'gel': What is this miracle gel, and where can I buy it?
I never want anyone to feel like they have to step on eggshells around me.
(http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19431962/ )
Uncomfortable awkwardness. I hate it. Stunted conversations, unexpected responses. Sometimes accompanied with no response at all.
Just plain uncomfortable. And when that happens, whats there left to say? What else can be said to remove the stale air accumlating between frivolous words?
Sometimes I wonder if its just that we can't say what we mean. Or mean what we say.
I was once told that when you get along with someone you will just 'gel': What is this miracle gel, and where can I buy it?
I never want anyone to feel like they have to step on eggshells around me.
(http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19431962/ )
