To do list:
1. Wash, wax and vacume my car. Its in a terrible state right now, almost too embarrasing to pick up studio (17-22y.o.) girls in!
2. Tidy my desk. Theres papers strewn everywhere! Its like wading through a paper sea trying to find my lip gloss.
3. Clean the cat litter. Yep, its that time of the week again!
4. Finish my 'Teaching and learning Position Statement' assignment by the weekend.
5. Finish or at least most of my media lesson on codes and conventions. This is proving harder than I thought!!
6. Organise a meeting
7. Go to bed!
2. Tidy my desk. Theres papers strewn everywhere! Its like wading through a paper sea trying to find my lip gloss.
3. Clean the cat litter. Yep, its that time of the week again!
4. Finish my 'Teaching and learning Position Statement' assignment by the weekend.
5. Finish or at least most of my media lesson on codes and conventions. This is proving harder than I thought!!
6. Organise a meeting
7. Go to bed!
Letter from a friend.
I love Club180, our new christians program. I love seeing lives changed and learning Gods Word. I've proberly done those lessons more times than I can count on both hands but God never ceases to use them to help me learn something new or have a revelation about something no matter how basic they are.
Tonight we did lesson 3 - Friendship with God. It was so good, it was just about how God desires to have a personal relationship with us, to be a friend to us and how we can develop our relationship with God. I've done this lesson so many times but tonight one part of the lesson touched something deep inside of me like never before. I was almost in tears, I was that moved! I just wanted to share with you the 'Letter from a friend' section of the lesson:
- Voni RathkeyThank you Jesus that your love for me is deeper than the ocean and greater than any need in my heart.
Tonight we did lesson 3 - Friendship with God. It was so good, it was just about how God desires to have a personal relationship with us, to be a friend to us and how we can develop our relationship with God. I've done this lesson so many times but tonight one part of the lesson touched something deep inside of me like never before. I was almost in tears, I was that moved! I just wanted to share with you the 'Letter from a friend' section of the lesson:
Dear Friend,
I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you. Yesterday, I saw you walking and laughing with your friends; I hoped that soon you'ld want Me to walk with you too. So, I painted you a sunset to close your day and whispered a cool breeze to refresh you. I waited; you never called. I just kept on loving you.
As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you. I spilled moonlight onto your face - trickling down your cheek as so many tears have. You didn't even think of me; I wanted so much to comfort you.
The next day I exploded a brillant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. But you woke up late and rushed off to work - you didn't even notice. My sky became cloudy and My tears were the rain.
I love you. Oh, if you'ld only listen. I really love you. I try to say it in a quiet of the green meadow and in the blue sky. The wind whispers My love throughout the treetops and spills it into the vibrant colours of the flowers.
I shout it to you in the thunder of the great waterfalls and compose love songs for birds to sing for you. I warm you with the clothing of My sunshine and perfume the air with nature's sweet scent. My love for you is deeper than the ocean and greater than any need in your heart. If you'ld realise how I care. I died just for you.
My dad sends His love. I want you to meet Him. He cares too. Fathers are just that way. So please cal Me soon. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait because I love you.
Your friend,
Jesus
- Voni RathkeyThank you Jesus that your love for me is deeper than the ocean and greater than any need in my heart.
Awe.
Oh my Gosh...God is sooo good!!!! I can't believe how good and great He is! He never ceases to surprise me with so many things time and time again! The magnitude of His power to change a heart!!
Today a girl I've been praying for and that I hold dear to my heart told me how shes realising so many things about Gods love for her and how she is starting to believe His plan for her... I am utterly blown away. There has been so much breakthrough! Its been a long road, but God is so so good!!! Its times like these that makes every painful step in the journey worth it.
This is Gods power in action - I am in absolute awe.
Today a girl I've been praying for and that I hold dear to my heart told me how shes realising so many things about Gods love for her and how she is starting to believe His plan for her... I am utterly blown away. There has been so much breakthrough! Its been a long road, but God is so so good!!! Its times like these that makes every painful step in the journey worth it.
This is Gods power in action - I am in absolute awe.
People are better than T.V.
Its almost 12am. I think I really need to start getting to bed earlier.
Lately I've been feeling a bit exhausted. This combination of late night, early starts and not enough sleep is making me eat junky again. So much for the detox!
Other than that things have been pretty good, I've been busy trying to finish 2 assignments before I start my prac next week (yikes!!) because I know its going to be so full on I won't even know what hit me. I'm going up on Friday to the highschool to see my mentor teacher to figure everything out for Monday - I'm so nervous!! They say its on prac you know if you are really cut out to be a teacher or not, so I guess we will see!
You know lately, Gods really been revealing to me some interesting insights. Firstly how he works everything together for those who love Him. I would of never in my whole life considered being a teacher if God didn't give me the opportunity to lead Primal girls (our 15-17 age group). Before I became a leader I think the last person I would of chosen to talk to was a teenager, and when they put me with Primal I was freaking out to say the least.
But God changed my heart, and He equipped me with the things I needed to do it and now I totally love Primal. I love that seeing those girls reach beyond themselves and take hold of everything God has to offer them. The teenage years are such a key time, and if God never put me in a place to serve there and see the potential in those girls, I doubt I would of ever considered teaching.
It pains me sometimes to see the kind of people at uni who are training to be teachers. Some don't care at all about the kids, they are in it for the holidays or a stable job. Do any of them actually like youth?! The thing is with an attitude like that I know they proberly won't last long as a teacher. Teaching is a mentally and emotionally demanding job. Its going to take commitment and dedication to be a great teacher. I think it will take continually looking at the bigger picture and seeing those kids the way God sees them to be able to push through those hard times. I guess for me prac will soon reveal if I have what it takes or not!
Another thing Gods been showing me is about how much He loves people. He really does. He is enthusiastic and excited about people! People are the most important thing to Him, and as He has been showing me this I've been praying that He keeps expanding my capacity to love. To keep helping me see people the way He sees them. Some days thats a big ask!
I'm really loving uni right now, not only because I am doing teaching and I find it absolutely interesting and challenging but because uni is filled with people I don't even know but could possibly know! I'm beginning to realise how much I love meeting new people, getting to know them, who they are and where they have been. People are a wealth of information, they are so interesting - it is better than TV!
I always want to be living a life that is inclusive.
Lately I've been feeling a bit exhausted. This combination of late night, early starts and not enough sleep is making me eat junky again. So much for the detox!
Other than that things have been pretty good, I've been busy trying to finish 2 assignments before I start my prac next week (yikes!!) because I know its going to be so full on I won't even know what hit me. I'm going up on Friday to the highschool to see my mentor teacher to figure everything out for Monday - I'm so nervous!! They say its on prac you know if you are really cut out to be a teacher or not, so I guess we will see!
You know lately, Gods really been revealing to me some interesting insights. Firstly how he works everything together for those who love Him. I would of never in my whole life considered being a teacher if God didn't give me the opportunity to lead Primal girls (our 15-17 age group). Before I became a leader I think the last person I would of chosen to talk to was a teenager, and when they put me with Primal I was freaking out to say the least.
But God changed my heart, and He equipped me with the things I needed to do it and now I totally love Primal. I love that seeing those girls reach beyond themselves and take hold of everything God has to offer them. The teenage years are such a key time, and if God never put me in a place to serve there and see the potential in those girls, I doubt I would of ever considered teaching.
It pains me sometimes to see the kind of people at uni who are training to be teachers. Some don't care at all about the kids, they are in it for the holidays or a stable job. Do any of them actually like youth?! The thing is with an attitude like that I know they proberly won't last long as a teacher. Teaching is a mentally and emotionally demanding job. Its going to take commitment and dedication to be a great teacher. I think it will take continually looking at the bigger picture and seeing those kids the way God sees them to be able to push through those hard times. I guess for me prac will soon reveal if I have what it takes or not!
Another thing Gods been showing me is about how much He loves people. He really does. He is enthusiastic and excited about people! People are the most important thing to Him, and as He has been showing me this I've been praying that He keeps expanding my capacity to love. To keep helping me see people the way He sees them. Some days thats a big ask!
I'm really loving uni right now, not only because I am doing teaching and I find it absolutely interesting and challenging but because uni is filled with people I don't even know but could possibly know! I'm beginning to realise how much I love meeting new people, getting to know them, who they are and where they have been. People are a wealth of information, they are so interesting - it is better than TV!
I always want to be living a life that is inclusive.
An autumn break
I'm just taking a break from my assignments right now but Thursdays are fast becoming my hardcore study days. Its pretty much the only day I have during the week that is completely free.
I've been trying to get over a cold the past week or so and every night I haven't really been able to sleep properly because my nose gets so blocked up I can hardly breath. Ruth's mum is such a blessing to me, she gave me some cold and flu tablets and I am starting to feel a bit better now. I think today is the first day in a while I've actually had to wear a jumper, its 20 degrees celsius. Looks like Autumn has finally hit!
Some interesting things have happened over the past week or so I thought I might share, firstly a friend of mine has generously enough offered to pay out my credit card so I don't have to struggle financially so much whilst I am studying. It was so generous and I don't have to pay it back till I get a job next year! (And this is no small amount we're talking here!).
I finally found out that my lecturer that both Samn and I suspected to be a christian, actually is. And not only that hes the associate pastor at Subiaco Church of Christ! We were right Samn!!!
My brothers old high school sweetheart found me on the net by searching my brothers name (I knew it was a good idea to put Danny's name in the title!). So crazy! Talk about technology connecting people! She is the sweetest lady too :)
Other than that this weekend is the Joondalup Festival. The past few weeks we've been working hard painting and paper macheing, try getting our float together for the parade - its going to look awesome! I'm going to be helping with makeup on the day, its going to be so much fun! Think 250 people, gold, black and a myrid of colourful balloons! We are also helping with all the marshalling of the parade as well. I love how my church is reaching out to the community.
It feels nice to be at home. Mickey's asleep on my desk, keeping me company. He's so cute.
I've been trying to get over a cold the past week or so and every night I haven't really been able to sleep properly because my nose gets so blocked up I can hardly breath. Ruth's mum is such a blessing to me, she gave me some cold and flu tablets and I am starting to feel a bit better now. I think today is the first day in a while I've actually had to wear a jumper, its 20 degrees celsius. Looks like Autumn has finally hit!
Some interesting things have happened over the past week or so I thought I might share, firstly a friend of mine has generously enough offered to pay out my credit card so I don't have to struggle financially so much whilst I am studying. It was so generous and I don't have to pay it back till I get a job next year! (And this is no small amount we're talking here!).
I finally found out that my lecturer that both Samn and I suspected to be a christian, actually is. And not only that hes the associate pastor at Subiaco Church of Christ! We were right Samn!!!
My brothers old high school sweetheart found me on the net by searching my brothers name (I knew it was a good idea to put Danny's name in the title!). So crazy! Talk about technology connecting people! She is the sweetest lady too :)
Other than that this weekend is the Joondalup Festival. The past few weeks we've been working hard painting and paper macheing, try getting our float together for the parade - its going to look awesome! I'm going to be helping with makeup on the day, its going to be so much fun! Think 250 people, gold, black and a myrid of colourful balloons! We are also helping with all the marshalling of the parade as well. I love how my church is reaching out to the community.
It feels nice to be at home. Mickey's asleep on my desk, keeping me company. He's so cute.
Back to school...
I found out what school I am going to for my first prac! Its so exciting!
They are sending me to a school I actually wrote as a preference and my friends mum is an english teacher there so I know someone! I hope my mentor teacher is nice!
Ooo getting all jittery about going - its going to be good!
They are sending me to a school I actually wrote as a preference and my friends mum is an english teacher there so I know someone! I hope my mentor teacher is nice!
Ooo getting all jittery about going - its going to be good!
My friendster reunion
I think I have the attention span of a 3 year old.
I don't know what it is but there always seems like there is something more interesting to do than my assignment, like talking to my cat Mickey, or bugging Ruth on Google Talk even though she's just 3 steps away from my bedroom (I love wireless internet!). And when I really feel like procrastinating lately I've been logging into Friendster.com to have a look since I hadn't been on there for ages.
Its been so interesting! So many of my old school friend are on there and its so fascinating to go and have a look at what they are doing now, what they look like and what they are into. It kind of felt like a mini high school reunion, minus the reunion part. It brings back so many memories, I wonder how much they have all changed since I've known them and where life has taken them all. I know I have changed heaps and my own journeys' has taken me a long way since United Christian College.
One thing that totally surprised me is how many of them are married now! Wow, married. They met the love of their lives and are married. I'm so happy for them!!
Looking at everyone's profiles makes me miss Hong Kong, I get the same feeling when I read the blogs of the one_eighty crew. Really melancholic. I love Hong Kong. I love the city life, I love the church and I love the people, but I also love Perth. I love the relaxing beach lifestyle, I love my church and I love my friends here. I know one day I'll go back even if its to visit, and now I'm going to be a teacher its not going to be a problem getting a job there (or in most countries for that matter!).
Ruth and I have actually been trying to plan to go back to Hong Kong for a holiday, we even tried to get a job at the orphanage there, Mothers Choice. But things seem to get in the way such as: money and then theres other things like timing. We'll get there eventually I know but till then I'll have to live vicariously though other peoples blogs to get a taste of Hong Kong and all the things I miss about it.
Its amazing that things like friendster makes sure that the people you know or used to know are no more than a mouse click away. Got to love technology.
I don't know what it is but there always seems like there is something more interesting to do than my assignment, like talking to my cat Mickey, or bugging Ruth on Google Talk even though she's just 3 steps away from my bedroom (I love wireless internet!). And when I really feel like procrastinating lately I've been logging into Friendster.com to have a look since I hadn't been on there for ages.
Its been so interesting! So many of my old school friend are on there and its so fascinating to go and have a look at what they are doing now, what they look like and what they are into. It kind of felt like a mini high school reunion, minus the reunion part. It brings back so many memories, I wonder how much they have all changed since I've known them and where life has taken them all. I know I have changed heaps and my own journeys' has taken me a long way since United Christian College.
One thing that totally surprised me is how many of them are married now! Wow, married. They met the love of their lives and are married. I'm so happy for them!!
Looking at everyone's profiles makes me miss Hong Kong, I get the same feeling when I read the blogs of the one_eighty crew. Really melancholic. I love Hong Kong. I love the city life, I love the church and I love the people, but I also love Perth. I love the relaxing beach lifestyle, I love my church and I love my friends here. I know one day I'll go back even if its to visit, and now I'm going to be a teacher its not going to be a problem getting a job there (or in most countries for that matter!).
Ruth and I have actually been trying to plan to go back to Hong Kong for a holiday, we even tried to get a job at the orphanage there, Mothers Choice. But things seem to get in the way such as: money and then theres other things like timing. We'll get there eventually I know but till then I'll have to live vicariously though other peoples blogs to get a taste of Hong Kong and all the things I miss about it.
Its amazing that things like friendster makes sure that the people you know or used to know are no more than a mouse click away. Got to love technology.
Lesson planning and dodge ball
Why is it so hard to write a lesson plan? I've been staring at this darn thing for the past 6 hours and still haven't managed to get much done.
How do you teach year 9's media? How do I make this fun and interesting without just giving a powerpoint slide lecture on the codes and conventions of movie posters? Its doing my head in. I'm having a creative mental block at the moment.
I can't even remember what a classroom looks like, and I can hardly even remember what high school in NZ was like. I guess this assignment is really pushing me to think like a teacher, how much time do I need to to explain this? How long will the activity take? What resources do I need? It really is a science and an art to lesson planning!
But regardless this whole lesson planning thing is doing my head in, yesterday I went down to one of the high schools with some of the bible college students to hang out with some of the kids and play some dodgeball!! I was soo nervous, it been years since I stepped foot in a school. I was having the preconcieved idea that the kids were just going to reject me first off, but they were so much fun! Like yeah some kids don't really want to talk, but most of them were so lovely and friendly.
I didn't actually get to play dodgeball but I had just as much fun cheering the kids on. It was so good! Just another confirmation for me about how much I want to be a teacher. I'm excited, I go on prac in 2 weeks! I'm getting all butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it!
How do you teach year 9's media? How do I make this fun and interesting without just giving a powerpoint slide lecture on the codes and conventions of movie posters? Its doing my head in. I'm having a creative mental block at the moment.
I can't even remember what a classroom looks like, and I can hardly even remember what high school in NZ was like. I guess this assignment is really pushing me to think like a teacher, how much time do I need to to explain this? How long will the activity take? What resources do I need? It really is a science and an art to lesson planning!
But regardless this whole lesson planning thing is doing my head in, yesterday I went down to one of the high schools with some of the bible college students to hang out with some of the kids and play some dodgeball!! I was soo nervous, it been years since I stepped foot in a school. I was having the preconcieved idea that the kids were just going to reject me first off, but they were so much fun! Like yeah some kids don't really want to talk, but most of them were so lovely and friendly.
I didn't actually get to play dodgeball but I had just as much fun cheering the kids on. It was so good! Just another confirmation for me about how much I want to be a teacher. I'm excited, I go on prac in 2 weeks! I'm getting all butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it!
Canadian accents are hot
Last night I jokingly sent Ruth a message over google talk that said:
Ruth, I'm going to get specific with God: "God, I want a canadian!"
Haha!
What is it about canadian accents? They are soo nice! There is a group of guys in my post grad who, you know look okay, nothing to write home about but as soon as they open their mouths and you hear them speak - wow, they all have canadian accents and now all of a sudden they have just gotten alot better looking!! What is with that?!
Turns out in my post grad we have quite a few canadians studying here, and everytime I hear them speak it totally amazes me how much it changes the way you look at someone. I am totally loving canadian accents.
And its not just me, a few of my girlfriends totally agree with me that canadian accents are nice. I don't know what it is, maybe because its not a jarring hard to hear accent like maybe irish, but its quite a gentle melodic accent. Whatever it is, it is soo nice.
Ruth, I'm going to get specific with God: "God, I want a canadian!"
Haha!
What is it about canadian accents? They are soo nice! There is a group of guys in my post grad who, you know look okay, nothing to write home about but as soon as they open their mouths and you hear them speak - wow, they all have canadian accents and now all of a sudden they have just gotten alot better looking!! What is with that?!
Turns out in my post grad we have quite a few canadians studying here, and everytime I hear them speak it totally amazes me how much it changes the way you look at someone. I am totally loving canadian accents.
And its not just me, a few of my girlfriends totally agree with me that canadian accents are nice. I don't know what it is, maybe because its not a jarring hard to hear accent like maybe irish, but its quite a gentle melodic accent. Whatever it is, it is soo nice.
I should be doing work!
I really should be writing a lesson plan right now for media, but no. Instead here I am blog surfing and just procratinating in general.
There is so much on my mind right now in regards to my finances, or there lack of. I have to keep reminding myself that if teaching is what God wants me to do then He will provide for me, somehow. Just have to keep trusting Him.
Anyways I was on Samns blog last night and she had a post about the 5 love languages, I did the test and I was mildly surprised. The results came out like this:
I always knew I was a quality time kind of girl, but the thing that got me was the physical touch part. I've never really been a openly touchy feely type of person in general but thats because I always try to be respectful of peoples personal boundaries. Though when I do that I have always been accutely aware I was purposefully not touching or hugging someone. I guess just because you're not openly touchy feely with everyone doesn't mean physical touch can't be your love language.
I know sometimes feel like I've neglected someone if I haven't hugged every girl in the room, and I know I can feel a bit neglected if someone who usually hugs me doesn't. Yeah its funny thinking about it because the more I do, the more I realise that yeah, it is a love language of mine. I know in a relationship touch is definately one for me, but I've never thought about how you would express it in friendship sense.
Sometimes you can compare yourself to someone who's love language is whatever and you just think if it was yours too you would act the same way. But no, it is possible to have the same love language but just express it a bit differently! Your own version, individual to you. Interesting thought.
P.S. Another interesting surprise, I also used to think gifts was a main love language of mine, but experience has shown me its not and then the result came back as #5. I guess you just can't buy my love! (As much as I thought anyways!)
Here have a go and see what your love language is.
There is so much on my mind right now in regards to my finances, or there lack of. I have to keep reminding myself that if teaching is what God wants me to do then He will provide for me, somehow. Just have to keep trusting Him.
Anyways I was on Samns blog last night and she had a post about the 5 love languages, I did the test and I was mildly surprised. The results came out like this:
1. Quality time
2. Physical touch
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
I always knew I was a quality time kind of girl, but the thing that got me was the physical touch part. I've never really been a openly touchy feely type of person in general but thats because I always try to be respectful of peoples personal boundaries. Though when I do that I have always been accutely aware I was purposefully not touching or hugging someone. I guess just because you're not openly touchy feely with everyone doesn't mean physical touch can't be your love language.
I know sometimes feel like I've neglected someone if I haven't hugged every girl in the room, and I know I can feel a bit neglected if someone who usually hugs me doesn't. Yeah its funny thinking about it because the more I do, the more I realise that yeah, it is a love language of mine. I know in a relationship touch is definately one for me, but I've never thought about how you would express it in friendship sense.
Sometimes you can compare yourself to someone who's love language is whatever and you just think if it was yours too you would act the same way. But no, it is possible to have the same love language but just express it a bit differently! Your own version, individual to you. Interesting thought.
P.S. Another interesting surprise, I also used to think gifts was a main love language of mine, but experience has shown me its not and then the result came back as #5. I guess you just can't buy my love! (As much as I thought anyways!)
Here have a go and see what your love language is.
Have you seen Danny Tsang?
Where in the world is Danny Tsang?
I think thats the million dollar question in my family. I spoke with my dad on the weekend and he asked me the million dollar question. I replied to him the same thing I said to my mum when she asked me that same question "I don't know".
Danny is my almost 30 year old brother. Last seen in Dunedin, New Zealand with an amazing career as a business analyst (last I heard). Current whereabouts is suspected to be on Australia's east coast. Yes, where is Danny? It is a mystery indeed.
Its not the fact that I haven't heard from Danny in about 3 years or that I can't even remember what he looks like anymore thats worrying. But the fact that none of us know where he is or if hes even still alive - now thats the bit thats scary. Its as if hes disapeared off the face of the earth.
I know he has his own life, obviously, but as his family we still care about him and want to know hes doing ok. Well I do at least. I only have one big brother and thats him. We have a blood connection. He is my big brother and he is family.
So that still leaves the question, where in the world is Danny Tsang?
Danny, if you are reading this you better email me quick smart because I am worried about you and I want to know you are doing ok.
I think thats the million dollar question in my family. I spoke with my dad on the weekend and he asked me the million dollar question. I replied to him the same thing I said to my mum when she asked me that same question "I don't know".
Danny is my almost 30 year old brother. Last seen in Dunedin, New Zealand with an amazing career as a business analyst (last I heard). Current whereabouts is suspected to be on Australia's east coast. Yes, where is Danny? It is a mystery indeed.
Its not the fact that I haven't heard from Danny in about 3 years or that I can't even remember what he looks like anymore thats worrying. But the fact that none of us know where he is or if hes even still alive - now thats the bit thats scary. Its as if hes disapeared off the face of the earth.
I know he has his own life, obviously, but as his family we still care about him and want to know hes doing ok. Well I do at least. I only have one big brother and thats him. We have a blood connection. He is my big brother and he is family.
So that still leaves the question, where in the world is Danny Tsang?
Danny, if you are reading this you better email me quick smart because I am worried about you and I want to know you are doing ok.
To do what I do not want to do
Somethings been really gnawing at me as of late. I've been trying to put my finger on it all week and it wasn't till I read this scripture it all became totally clear:
So that's what it was, I'm doing the very things I hate - the things I don't want to do, I do, the things I don't want to say, I say. As much as I don't want to do it I still do it - What is with that?!?
I guess it comes down to our naturally sinful nature. We are naturally selfish - give a child a cookie and tell them not to eat it. If they eat it and you ask them if they ate it they will say 'no'. Its just our natural inbuilt nature and in the same way its the same reason I always manage to put my foot in it, make bad decisions or act selfishly (Ugh.). Whether its just talking to someone and saying something I shouldn't of or even just remembering someone's birthday (I really apologize if I have forgotten your birthday!!). I really hate it. I hate that side of me, and I hate especially when I am tired these ugly things pop their heads up again.
This weekend was Kristy's birthday and I had written it down in my diary and looked at it ON THE DAY and yet when I saw her I still forgot to say 'happy birthday' to her! I know this sounds so petty but I felt so terrible - I HAD really tried to remember and still managed to forget!! Then not to mention the multiple times this weekend I have said something, or implied something I didn't mean. (Sorry again Ruthie!) *sigh*
Its such a battle sometimes. I know we can't be perfect and we won't always say the right things or make the right decisions all the time. As a leader I expect more from myself but I need to realise that I can't and will never be perfect as a leader or a friend. I just need to realise that mistakes are just a part of life. I need to come to terms with that and give myself a break and stop beating myself over the head with my boo boos, learn from my mistakes then get up and go again.
Grace = Undeserved acceptance and love.
Thank God for GRACE. There is grace for all of us who know Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. Thank God I have a new nature in Him and He helps me to overcome, though everyday is a process I need to walk out with Him.
Grace, grace, grace.
My name 'Anna' means Grace and God knows how much I need it.
I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. (Rom 7:15 ESV)
So that's what it was, I'm doing the very things I hate - the things I don't want to do, I do, the things I don't want to say, I say. As much as I don't want to do it I still do it - What is with that?!?
I guess it comes down to our naturally sinful nature. We are naturally selfish - give a child a cookie and tell them not to eat it. If they eat it and you ask them if they ate it they will say 'no'. Its just our natural inbuilt nature and in the same way its the same reason I always manage to put my foot in it, make bad decisions or act selfishly (Ugh.). Whether its just talking to someone and saying something I shouldn't of or even just remembering someone's birthday (I really apologize if I have forgotten your birthday!!). I really hate it. I hate that side of me, and I hate especially when I am tired these ugly things pop their heads up again.
This weekend was Kristy's birthday and I had written it down in my diary and looked at it ON THE DAY and yet when I saw her I still forgot to say 'happy birthday' to her! I know this sounds so petty but I felt so terrible - I HAD really tried to remember and still managed to forget!! Then not to mention the multiple times this weekend I have said something, or implied something I didn't mean. (Sorry again Ruthie!) *sigh*
Its such a battle sometimes. I know we can't be perfect and we won't always say the right things or make the right decisions all the time. As a leader I expect more from myself but I need to realise that I can't and will never be perfect as a leader or a friend. I just need to realise that mistakes are just a part of life. I need to come to terms with that and give myself a break and stop beating myself over the head with my boo boos, learn from my mistakes then get up and go again.
Grace = Undeserved acceptance and love.
Thank God for GRACE. There is grace for all of us who know Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. Thank God I have a new nature in Him and He helps me to overcome, though everyday is a process I need to walk out with Him.
Grace, grace, grace.
My name 'Anna' means Grace and God knows how much I need it.
Googly eyes
I have googly eyes at the moment.
I've been staring at the computer and reading about classroom management plans all day. At 10am I fell asleep reading my textbook and then at about 4pm I was so brain dead I collapsed on my bed amongst all my paperwork and slept for a good hour or so.
Regardless of that, I'm really enjoying studying teaching but it is alot of work. Theres so much to think about I don't think I've used my brain so much in my life, I feel like I am using recesses of my brain I never knew I had. Wow, thats a scary thought. But I've been pretty organised, I've got a timetable all set up and I've pretty much have a 40 hour week if not more worth of classes and study. Yep its going to be an interesting year.
I better get back to the books!
I've been staring at the computer and reading about classroom management plans all day. At 10am I fell asleep reading my textbook and then at about 4pm I was so brain dead I collapsed on my bed amongst all my paperwork and slept for a good hour or so.
Regardless of that, I'm really enjoying studying teaching but it is alot of work. Theres so much to think about I don't think I've used my brain so much in my life, I feel like I am using recesses of my brain I never knew I had. Wow, thats a scary thought. But I've been pretty organised, I've got a timetable all set up and I've pretty much have a 40 hour week if not more worth of classes and study. Yep its going to be an interesting year.
I better get back to the books!
Ten day detox
Ruth and I are currently doing the 10 day Daniel's diet detox. Its a detox diet based on the biblical principals of Daniel in the bible when he refused to eat the kings food and only ate a diet of fruit, vegetables and nuts.
The detox itself is aimed to help with promoting long term health by eating healthier and in the process overcome caffine, sugar and processed food addiction by flushing it out of your system... Yes, no more diet cokes and chocolate for me!! I think that was my biggest vice, diet coke.. artificial sweetner, phenelayline (or however you spell it)..hmm pumping my body full of chemicals. And though everyone was telling me this and trying to urge me off it I still ignored it.
They say ignorance is bliss, but after reading the Daniels diet book I think that was the push to make me want to make a change - you just never know what the long term effects of eating and drinking all those chemicals are! Not to mention my sugar cravings were getting pretty bad, so this detox will really get all that out of my system.
I'm up to day 3 now and though the past 2 days I've been feeling pretty good, today I'm starting to feel some of the lethargy and muscle aches. The first 3-5 days are usually the worst, but my body is adjusting!
I felt so proud of myself the last two nights when I had our monthly book club meeting and then powercell last night that I didn't succumb to the temptation of eating chocolate and lollies - Usually its a HUGE struggle for me, I have such a sweet tooth!
Day 3 here I come!
The detox itself is aimed to help with promoting long term health by eating healthier and in the process overcome caffine, sugar and processed food addiction by flushing it out of your system... Yes, no more diet cokes and chocolate for me!! I think that was my biggest vice, diet coke.. artificial sweetner, phenelayline (or however you spell it)..hmm pumping my body full of chemicals. And though everyone was telling me this and trying to urge me off it I still ignored it.
They say ignorance is bliss, but after reading the Daniels diet book I think that was the push to make me want to make a change - you just never know what the long term effects of eating and drinking all those chemicals are! Not to mention my sugar cravings were getting pretty bad, so this detox will really get all that out of my system.
I'm up to day 3 now and though the past 2 days I've been feeling pretty good, today I'm starting to feel some of the lethargy and muscle aches. The first 3-5 days are usually the worst, but my body is adjusting!
I felt so proud of myself the last two nights when I had our monthly book club meeting and then powercell last night that I didn't succumb to the temptation of eating chocolate and lollies - Usually its a HUGE struggle for me, I have such a sweet tooth!
Day 3 here I come!
I hurt, therefore I am alive
What is it about loving people and keeping an open heart that hurts so much?
I often find myself struggling not to pull myself away from people. Everytime I put myself in a place of vunerability, caring about people and trying to reach out I always manage to get hurt and I find myself scrambling for the closest wall I can hide behind.
Last weekend Pastor Gerad preached a message about not isolating yourself and keeping your heart open. Everyday its a decision for me to open up my heart to people and when people don't respond the way I intend, it can be painful and hurt so much.
I want to live a life with a heart thats open and soft. I want to live a life that has a heart reflects out, in abundance and isn't isolated, protected or pulls away from people. I want to love more, I want more compassion and understanding.
Living in a place of vunerability can hurt and I know I will get hurt, but at least I know I am alive.
I often find myself struggling not to pull myself away from people. Everytime I put myself in a place of vunerability, caring about people and trying to reach out I always manage to get hurt and I find myself scrambling for the closest wall I can hide behind.
Last weekend Pastor Gerad preached a message about not isolating yourself and keeping your heart open. Everyday its a decision for me to open up my heart to people and when people don't respond the way I intend, it can be painful and hurt so much.
I want to live a life with a heart thats open and soft. I want to live a life that has a heart reflects out, in abundance and isn't isolated, protected or pulls away from people. I want to love more, I want more compassion and understanding.
Living in a place of vunerability can hurt and I know I will get hurt, but at least I know I am alive.
The cost of uni books and everything else
I think this semester is the first semester I have ever really brought all the text books for my units. In digital media I could get away with not buying next books - there were ebooks and well, the internet itself is a wealth of information in the area of technology.
I don't want to make this sound like a whinging post, but I am so broke right now! Everything is just adding, first its $10 here for a name badge, then $33 there for a police clearance. Just a bit hectic right now, but hey, its only a year and God always provides when its His Will.
Anyways besides that, I'm totally loving it! Really excited about teaching media, its so interesting and computing has so much freedom in what I can teach, we might as well all learn photoshop! Haha!
I need to tidy my room, but before I do that I just wanted to share some photos of the things I've been up to over the weekend. All photos are courtesy of the birthday girl herself, RuthJanine:
There was soo much food!I put a little bit of everything on my plate and I still ended up with a mountain of food!
This is saigo, and it is soo yummy!
Ruth and I with our biggest fans... haha!
Ruthie its your birthday, happy birthday Ruthie... :)
Me, enjoying my food very much!
Yum, Korean BBQ!
The birthday girl, Ruthie and our unoffical church mascot, Brodie
I don't want to make this sound like a whinging post, but I am so broke right now! Everything is just adding, first its $10 here for a name badge, then $33 there for a police clearance. Just a bit hectic right now, but hey, its only a year and God always provides when its His Will.
Anyways besides that, I'm totally loving it! Really excited about teaching media, its so interesting and computing has so much freedom in what I can teach, we might as well all learn photoshop! Haha!
I need to tidy my room, but before I do that I just wanted to share some photos of the things I've been up to over the weekend. All photos are courtesy of the birthday girl herself, RuthJanine:
Saturday nights asian dinner
Sunday night: Ruths Birthday Dinner Korean style!
