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7/31/2006


Purpose. 

What is the point of this life if there was no God?

If there was no God and the world came about in a huge bang and we evolved from amoebas, no thought involved - we just happened. Bang. And we miraculously evolved, our bodies intricately functioning together and our environment so perfectly in synch.

If there is no God and we came from a bang, an accident, a freak of 'nature' - then what is the point of this life? Why are we here? If our lives are so essentially meaningless, what's the point of living? If we are all going to die anyways, why bother getting an education? A job? A family? I might as well just give up.

With no purpose our very existence is pointless.

But my God gives me purpose. He puts importance on my life. He puts value on me.

We are not on this planet on some hit and miss mission hoping maybe we will get this thing called life right. Maybe I'll try this relationship, this drug or this fad and maybe, just maybe, I'll get it right. No. We are here for a purpose, a God given, God breathed purpose. You are not an accident.

I guess I am trying to understand how someone can believe that there is no God. I guess I am trying to understand how someone can judge God based on the bad things of the world and say He doesn't exist and that if He does He is a bad God. When its by the choices us humans are making and have made that these things have happened.

Yes, my God is a HUGE God, and there are a lot of things still I don't understand about the whys and hows of what He does. There has been countless amount of times I've looked up at the heavens and sighed "Why God?" But at the end of the day I just have to look around and see all the good things He IS doing.

To believe there is no God is such a cop out.

Week in and week out I am seeing peoples lives be transformed by His love, families are being restored, and people being healed. I just have to look at my own life and the journey I have traveled to see the amazing grace and mercy He has given me. I am living a life transformed.

The Truth has been revealed to me and I refuse to deny it.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God-you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration-what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)





Hello 24. 

Blessed.

I think thats the only word I can use to explain the way I feeling right now. Today is my birthday. I am 24. I can't believe it. Last night Rob and I had a combined buffet birthday dinner at The Rendezvous Hotel with 77 of our closest friends.

It was such a great night! I was so overwhelmed. It always blows me away to know that people really care. Like, I know they do.. but I guess I have never felt so honored at a birthday before. Sunset Coasters are so great like that... honoring people. :)

24. Twenty four. If last year was anything to go by, this year is going to a great one!




7/29/2006


A sense of humor 

My gosh, how attractive is a genuine sense of humor?




7/25/2006


Real, raw and relevant 

I have itchy feet. No I don't mean literally, but in the way that in my spirit I feel like I need to do something. I mean really do something. Maybe I should describe it better if I say I have an itchy spirit.

Something needs to be done. I have a picture for my life where I want to live a life that is so passionately sold out for Jesus. Where everyday I am laying down my life for what I so passionately believe to be true. Not in some weird religious spiro way but in way that reflects the relevant reality of God.

I'm sick of comfortable christianity. I'm sick of routine and familarity. I'm sick of seeing our youth settle for the lies of the enemy through society and the media. The ideas getting fed to them about sex, relationships, who they are and their value systems are so screwed up. Things need to get shaken up. Mind sets need to change. This society needs to change.

Someone needs to start a movement that will show this generation how relevant Jesus is. That there is another way. We need role models, we need media coverage, we need music and we need christians who are so sold out for the cause and the vision they are willing to risk anything with a 'whatever-it-takes' spirit! I'm sick of christians who are so inward focused and Sunday morning christians who live double lives. Who are you?

I am sick of sterotypes. "Good little christian girl". Safe, comfortable and politcally correct. The christian life is a life of power, boldness and courage. To be the head and not the tail. Where we stand unwavering by what we believe in and don't compromise ourselves in an attempt to be unoffensive.

Ruth said something so true tonight as we were driving home from the Impact World Tour Dessert night. God has given us these passions in our hearts to see lives transformed, but not only that but He has given us opportunity to meet influential founders of organisations that we are passionate about. I don't know what God is doing, but I know as I allow myself to be used by Him its going to be huge. This is so not about me. This goes beyond who I am and my capacity. This is about a bigger picture, beyond anything any eye (especially mine) can see. It's amazing.

The Truth sets you free - And it is real, raw and relevant.





What more do you need? 

Its a bizarre yet liberating feeling being on holidays. To be young, good music blasting in the car with a full tank of petrol, best friend at my side, with money to be free to do whatever we want (I love tax returns!), see whoever we want and stay out as late as we want. Its an exciting feeling.

I'm loving my holidays. Ruth and I have managed to do so much new, random and spontaneous things together. Sunday was one of those days. We left home about 7am to pick up girls for church and came home at 1am the next day. Sometime after lunch with a friend in the city, we managed to stop off at home for an hour - just enough for a quick power nap (Ruth had to actually come and wake me up I almost over slept), before we had to go off to Hillarys to meet someone else for coffee.

After coffee we ended up going to Innaloo to meet up with some other friends and had a few games at TimeZone and then after headed off to the Furnace for a little bit. It was a full on day but I loved the fact we could just call someone and go "Hey what are you doing? Lets do something, I'm coming over!!," and just hang out and do whatever. Living life full on for God, life and people is something so exhilarating!

We are free and young with a full tank of petrol - what more do you need? :)




7/22/2006


Wisdom. 

God knows how much more I need of it.

Every time I think I'm starting to have it all together, I manage to disprove myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am way over my head in where I am serving at church. Can I possibly do this? Surely there is someone more capable... Infact I know there are many others more capable. So why me? Why have me stumble along when there is someone more efficient to do the job? Surely this is too important and too much is at stake to entrust this to someone who doesn't really know exactly what she is doing...

I guess its something that really God only knows. I never asked to do this, and sometimes the challenge of it even makes me wish I wasn't. But if God can use me full of faults and silliness, then so be it. I am amateur but willing. God gives and takes away. And if He decides to take away, its all good. Who I am isn't so entwined with this title that it is my identity.

Maybe my prayers have been answered all along. That in telling God I want to do something awesome for Him in this life, where everyday is a huge step of faith and desperation, He's telling me He's done it. Here I am expecting something huge and amiable, and He's just saying: "Yeah, this is it."

I reply: "What do you mean 'this is it'?? This can't be it! Where is the persecution, dying to self and the whole miracles sense of 'I'm-living-on-a-prayer-and-if-You-don't-pull-through-now-its-all-going-to-fall'?"

He says: "You're living it right now."

Whoa. Okay, now this is freaking me out.

"How can I be living it right now? Surely I was born for something great..."

He says: "You are. You are doing it right now. Ushering people into the Kingdom of God, is that not great? Responding to salvations, is that not great? Caring for the new Christian babies in my intensive care, who will one day be the next Christine Caines' and Joyce Myers' of the world, is that not great?"

" ... "

He continues: "If you don't see the greatness in what you are doing now, how can I give you more? What you are doing now is so important. Its more important than what you will ever realise on this side of eternity.

Look after my sheep. Look after them with such faith in who I have planned for them to become. Look after them with such a passion for them to know Me. Care for them with such a desperation for them to stay on the path I have laid out for them. And pray for them like everything depends on Me.

Is not what I am asking of you great?
Is not what I am asking of you going to and has already cost you something?
"

Thank you God for your Grace, encouragement and your gentle conviction to do better.




7/21/2006


Finding a little rest 

Argh, I think I am coming down with a cold. I can't really remember the last time I was sick so I guess I've been pretty blessed health wise.

Last night I managed to have a night in. It was surprisingly something different for both Ruth and I since we've been galavanting (gosh, I love that word) around Perth for the past week and a half. Staying up late and waking up early (10am is early if you consider I have been going to bed around 3am on average) just trying to make the most of everyday and the holidays whilst they last.

It was nice to have a night in. I managed to have an awesome quiet time with God and by the end of it I felt alot more centered and internally organised. I really need to sit down and just be in His presense more often rather than trying to do it in the car on my way somewhere. Wow, thats a word for me: to sit down and just be. Rather than running around trying to do everything all the time. Busy-ness can be a sin and rest is good.

This morning Ruth and I went down to a meeting at Pregnancy Problem House in Nollamara for their Choices, Decisions, Outcomes High school program. Its an awesome and much needed program that goes into high schools to give students strategies to making informed decisions regarding relationships and sexual activity. It really is such a priviledge to be part of it.

One of the ladies at Pregancy Problem House mentioned how a collegue at work was in a wrong relationship and she gave her a CDO bookmark about what true love is and woman was so grateful. It just highlighted to me the need for programs like these. How can a grown adult woman not know what love is and how she should be treated? Just blows my mind, but its so common. Its as if they don't think they deserved to be treated with respect and love. The number of friends I know who are in relationships that are complacent where they are stuck in the same old routines. Maybe once they were in love but now the relationship lacks love and care.

Complacency makes it easier to just to stay in a unloving relationship rather acknowledging its not right and parting ways. Its too much hassle having to start from scratch again with someone else. This is the mentality of it all. I guess as people we are always trying to fill a God shaped void in our hearts with people or things. Everybodys worshipping something. But nothing in this world will ever satisfy like God and His love. Trust me, I know.

I went down the the Furnace after. I really wanted to finish a painting I had started yesterday. What meant to be a really quick 30min thing felt like an hour but in reality was two hours. There seems to be no concept of time in there. Sometimes when I am painting I can feel Gods presense so thick despite the sounds of other people in the room. I am in my own little world.




7/20/2006


God dreams. 

*sigh*

Have you ever felt like you were so overwhelmed with something so huge, but you can't quite put your finger on exactly what it is? I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe its all this talk of God dreams lately.

I've always loved the Psalm 37:4 scripture "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." God gives us the desires of our heart when we find joy and purpose in Him. I believe it and trust it completely that God will and does do this for each one of us that are walking in relationship with Him. I guess the thing is that if God is going to give me the desires of my heart - I proberly should figure out what they are.

For ages I never really knew my passions were or my giftings, till I realised its often the thing that comes so naturally to us we don't even think its special. I love the fact God has made us all so uniquely different. I love how Hes all given us passions for different things yet in one way or another they all work together to serve His big picture. Its the same goal but just different methods or strategies for each person.

So what are my passions?
What gets me out of bed?

I guess if I really think hard, the core of it is people. I just love people, I love watching people, I love talking to people, I love getting into their world and trying to see their reality. People are so fascinating. But specifically, I am passionate about seeing people come to know God personally and seeing their lives be transformed for the better. I am passionate about connecting people both to God and others and I am passionate about being His hands and feet, showing people how relevant today He really is.

Its these are the passions that fuel my God dreams. These are things that fire me up, these are the things that get me out of bed in the morning and these are the things that make me say "See! We need a Christian music show with something like that on Channel 10!" whenever I hear a Christian rock/hip hop/dance/pop song on the Sonshine FM.

God dreams: They are so important for God has placed them in the depths of our hearts. I haven't quite figured out my God dream yet, and I doubt I will really know it for a while. All I know is that its got something to do with what I am doing now so I need to be faithful in what He has given me for the time being.

I know I want to do something awesome for God in this lifetime. I want to do something that is such a step of faith, that is so life transforming and God honoring that there is a sense of desperation for God to pull through. To do anything great for God is going to cost something.

Dare to dream big, after all, we serve a big God :)




7/17/2006


Worth-ship: Giving honor & worth to God 







23 going on 24. 

Wow, are we really halfway though July already? I'm turning twenty four in a couple weeks and its kinda spinning me out. Am I really turning twenty four? Crazy, I still feel about 20.

I'm loving being twenty three, I've done so much and grown so much (and still am!). As unsure of turning twenty four I am, I think it only has to get better! Actually I am kinda feeling like I am running out of time! Theres so much crazy stuff I want to do for God in this current season and its like time is flying by. Seems like only yesterday (ok, a long yesterday) that Carrie, Ann, Ruth and I were celebrating my 22nd birthday.

I mentioned to Ruth over dinner this past week how I didn't want to look back on my life and not have done something significant for God and she aptly reminded me about what we are doing in New Christians. I was reminded how important and significant it really is. To be an active part in seeing people's lives get transformed by God - now that is HUGE. Gosh, I can't even express what the feeling is like to see a girl that I know I have helped disciple, transform from someone who was so broken, so hurt, carrying so much baggage to become passionate, serving and committed to Gods house! It makes me so in awe of God. Wow. Amazing.

This year for my 24th birthday I'm having a combined one with a friend whos turning 28. A combined birthday will be another first for me - I love first times! A buffet dinner at the Rendezvous Hotel with 40 of our closest friends... Yep, 24 is going to be an awesome year!

Live hard. Work hard. Party hard.




7/16/2006


Something new, random or spontaneous 

Gosh. What have I been up to this week? Where do I even begin...?

I've made a promise to myself that this semester break I would do something new, random or spontaneous every day - and I have to admit I've done pretty well so far! We've stayed up late, gone out till the wee hours of the morning, did coffee at random hours of the night/morning, gone on random spur of the moment road trips, watched movies that made us cry, laugh or fall in love.

We have attended conferences, leaders meetings, social dinners and met many new people, we've driven to the other side of Perth to go shopping, eaten out (alot), tried new foods, brought new things, hung out at the Furnace, played late night board games at cafes, and at the end of it all slept in (Mmm, bliss). This is the stuff life should be made of, living life to its fullest, spontaneous and fun whilst making God connections with other people. Always reaching out and embracing everything and everyone that God had to offer us in life.

Ruth and I have hung out alot this past week, and shes been such a blessing to me in so many ways. Its like we are making up for the 13 weeks we are at uni when we hardly get to spend quality time with each other regardless of the fact we live under the same roof. Ruth is good quality.

There are so many things God has been speaking to me about this past week both personally and in leadership, I don't even know where to begin. I'm just trying to process it all in an intelligible format. I know Club180, our new christians program is going into a new level and I really pray that God will use me and the rest of the team in whatever way He needs - A 'Whatever it takes' Spirit! I'm believing and expectant for more salvations and healthy and strong new christians full of purpose and destiny being fed into the church!

Gosh, I love life!




7/14/2006


I think I am in love. 

After spending 6 hours on Sunday with my latest love interest things have never been the same. I am in love with Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (I jest!), and I am not talking the latest Hollywood version but the BBC 6 hour series!

Oh my gosh.. How good is it! We sat there for 6 hours straight and watched the whole thing - I was glued to the set! I have to say the original BBC version of Pride and Prejudice has to be up there in one of my all time favorites list. I don't know what is it about Mr Darcy? Maybe for the fact he stands for integrity and honor, his humble awkwardness and honesty. Such great qualities in a guy.

Ruth and I watched a Walk to Remember this week too. Oh wow, I don't think I've cried so much in a movie as that one! The lead guy in it is pretty wonderful too. The love, care and self sacrificing effort he had to try to fulfill everyone of Jamies dreams was so beautiful...

It gives me such a hope. And I know these are just characters in a movie, but the truth is there are great guys like that out there. I know this because my friends have married and are dating genuine integrious guys like these.

To be loved in the same manner that Jesus loves me: passionate, sacrificing, honest, romantic and pure. Wow, a true love like this is so beautiful.




7/09/2006


Random acts of randomness 

Since about 3pm on Friday I've been in party mode! Theres nothing like the feeling of being able to do anything you want whenever you want - now my prac is over I can offically switch of my brain and thats exactly what I have done.

After church on Friday Ruth and I went to a friends birthday party which was good fun. It was nice to catch up and connect with people my own age again and not have to worry about having to wake up early in the morning! Afterwards Ruth and I randomly went to the Moon Cafe in Northbridge for a coffee at 12am! I'm loving the Moon Cafe, its so funky and retro in there.

When we got home in the wee hours of the morning I tried to edit my blog but the busy-ness of the past week must of hit me. I found myself passed out on my bed fully dressed amongst my clean laundry that had been travelling from chair to bed and back, over the past week or so. Theres just not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do!

It was lovely being able to sleep in on Saturday. With nothing much planned Ruth and I watched the new Hillsong DVD (Darlene Zschech is so down to earth!). When it finished Ruth and I just looked at each other "Soo... what do you want to do now?" "Uhm, wanna go down to Mandurah?", "OK, sure". So we found ourselves on our way to Mandurah to hang out. Gotta love the randomness of it all. Feel like doing this? Ok sure, lets do it!

This holiday I plan to do as much randomness that I can. I'm not working, I have no where to be apart from church activities and all the time in the world. Coffee at 2am? Driving to Lancelin to go star gazing? Feel like hanging out? Cool, lets go.

Got to love uni holidays...




7/08/2006


My first prac at Mindarie is over! 

Exhale.

I feel like I've finally had a moment to sit down and breath.

My two week teaching prac at Mindarie Senior College has finally ended and though I am relieved I can finally rest and turn my brain off, the thought it is my last time there was bittersweet. I had such a great time on prac, the students were great, the staff were great - Mindarie is really a great school! I didn't want to leave...

I have to admit, it wasn't easy though. From day one I was thrown into it, taking pretty much four classes of media and not only trying to get to know all the students and teach them but having to learn the content material as well. I have a new found respect for teachers. It really is alot of work, and more than being a job it is a lifestyle.

My social life was pretty much obsolete over the past fortnight, living on average 5 hours sleep a night and surviving on energy drinks to get me through the day I am surprised my liver hasn't decided to call it a day on me! Yes, full on is definately how I would of described it, but as tiring as it was it was so fulfilling.

The students there are so full of potential. They are so funny, interesting and individually unique. I wish I had more time to just sit down and get to know them better. I was sitting with Ruth at Dome tonight and I just thought "wow God is so amazing". Who would of thought I would be a teacher? When I started my degree in Digital Media all I wanted was a job where I could sit in a cubical and not have to talk to anyone. Now, even the thought of going somewhere where there are people excites me. People are so facinating and full of potential its crazy. God has just opened the doors for me to get into teaching and even I can't believe the heart change God has done in me.

I know I have been called to make a difference and seeing it unfold before my eyes is something I can't quite put into words.





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