Sometimes I wonder if I am a masochist.

I wonder if its because of loving and caring about people so much that I feel so raw sometimes. I'm realising now more and more how much I need to rely on God right now. I need Him to help me expand my heart, to keep it open and soft. I don't want hurt to become a bitterness that callous's my heart. I need Him to fill me with love, so I can give out generously.

But how do you love the unlovable?

I'm realising the unlovable comes in many shapes and forms. The unlovable has even at times been myself.

And then I am realising that sometimes I just need to let go. That sometimes its ok to let go. Letting go doesn't mean to stop caring; it means I can't do this for someone else. To let go is to not be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but allow others to affect their own outcomes. Letting go is not to deny, but accept.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my own desires, but to take each day as it comes. To let go is not to critise and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

Most of all to let go is to fear less and love more.