Please pick me for leadership!!!
The word leadership has never quite sat well with me. I don't know what it is, but whenever someone asks me what it is I do at church all I seem to be able to muster up in reply is "I'm a new christians helper/server". Its like I want to keep the fact that I'm a leader some sort of dark secret. Its sorta like when its my birthday and I get all embarrassed when people start wishing me happy birthday - the attention makes me all shy.
I've said this once and I'll say it again; if I had really known what I was getting into with leadership - I proberly would of said 'no'. I am glad I went into it ignorant, because it has, and continues to help me grow so much, but still if I had prior knowledge the answer still would of been 'no'.
I don't care much for titles. I couldn't careless if they took me off leadership, and if they do I know Gods in control, as long as I know that I've done my best. And in the case of that happening I'm sure God's working to do something in me, to transform me, which is always a good thing. I have to admit sometimes when the going gets tough, I have secretly thought of ways I could get taken off - but then I realise its my flesh speaking and I am just looking of ways to get out of responsibility. Hmm.
I do have to say that I enjoy being a new christians leader. Its something that has really grown on me, the girls I disciple have grown on me, to the point where I can actually say to them I love them, and really mean it. I do love each one of them in their own unique ways.
But in loving these girls, it has also made me quite protective of them. We are in the process of training new christian helpers, which are much needed at the moment but at the same time I am wary. I want these girls to be around people who really care about them, not people who only act like they do. I want these girls to be around people who really want to see their lives changed, and see them discover their own personal relationship with God and not people who do it because their leader told them that thats their job. Discipling new christians isn't a chore, its a joy and even more, its a privilage.
I want to see these girls lead by someone whos passion and motivation is to see their lives changed, and to see them grow in personal relationship with Christ, not by someone who may be looking for a title. And for those who are looking for a leadership title, let me tell you this: leadership is no walk in the park. The responsibility is eternal, you are accountable to God with how you lead those peoples lives. These are real people, with real lives we are dealing with, its nothing that should be dealt with lightly! And if you really want to be in leadership that bad - here, you can take mine.
I've said this once and I'll say it again; if I had really known what I was getting into with leadership - I proberly would of said 'no'. I am glad I went into it ignorant, because it has, and continues to help me grow so much, but still if I had prior knowledge the answer still would of been 'no'.
I don't care much for titles. I couldn't careless if they took me off leadership, and if they do I know Gods in control, as long as I know that I've done my best. And in the case of that happening I'm sure God's working to do something in me, to transform me, which is always a good thing. I have to admit sometimes when the going gets tough, I have secretly thought of ways I could get taken off - but then I realise its my flesh speaking and I am just looking of ways to get out of responsibility. Hmm.
I do have to say that I enjoy being a new christians leader. Its something that has really grown on me, the girls I disciple have grown on me, to the point where I can actually say to them I love them, and really mean it. I do love each one of them in their own unique ways.
But in loving these girls, it has also made me quite protective of them. We are in the process of training new christian helpers, which are much needed at the moment but at the same time I am wary. I want these girls to be around people who really care about them, not people who only act like they do. I want these girls to be around people who really want to see their lives changed, and see them discover their own personal relationship with God and not people who do it because their leader told them that thats their job. Discipling new christians isn't a chore, its a joy and even more, its a privilage.
I want to see these girls lead by someone whos passion and motivation is to see their lives changed, and to see them grow in personal relationship with Christ, not by someone who may be looking for a title. And for those who are looking for a leadership title, let me tell you this: leadership is no walk in the park. The responsibility is eternal, you are accountable to God with how you lead those peoples lives. These are real people, with real lives we are dealing with, its nothing that should be dealt with lightly! And if you really want to be in leadership that bad - here, you can take mine.
Wait for me.
Darling, did you know that II love this song. It totally captures my heart on how I feel about my future husband. I'm doing everything I can to keep myself pure for him, and I can only pray that hes doing the same and waiting for me.
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me
CHORUS:
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait
Darling did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
"Til death do us part"
I mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you
CHORUS
Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness, and a second chance
So wait for me, darling wait for me
Wait for me
Darling wait for me
- Rebecca St. James
22 going on 23.
I can't believe my birthday is right around the corner again. Has a year really passed that quickly? And my, how things have changed!
I don't feel 23, I don't look 23 and some of the time I don't even act like I am 23, but I'm going to be turning 23 this coming Sunday! I have to admit I'm looking forward to it. Not only because my friends are organising something for me on the night, when I have never had anyone organise a birthday party for me in my life, but also because as I get older I the more and more I'm actually starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I don't know if its just God helping me to feel more settled in myself as I continue tp grow in Him, or it is just me getting older, either way its an interesting feeling. The past year has definately been a stretching year for me, its moulded me, and formed me into someone I can't even recognise from my life only a year and a half ago. Its like day and night. And on the Monday just gone, I have officially been single for a year. How crazy is that? Feels like a lifetime ago.
Last year on my 22nd birthday I was still new at church and I spent it with the three women in life who came around me and are like sisters to me, In the space of a year my church family has grown considerable and this year I'll be spending my 23rd birthday with even more people I love and care about, who could ask for more?
I don't feel 23, I don't look 23 and some of the time I don't even act like I am 23, but I'm going to be turning 23 this coming Sunday! I have to admit I'm looking forward to it. Not only because my friends are organising something for me on the night, when I have never had anyone organise a birthday party for me in my life, but also because as I get older I the more and more I'm actually starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I don't know if its just God helping me to feel more settled in myself as I continue tp grow in Him, or it is just me getting older, either way its an interesting feeling. The past year has definately been a stretching year for me, its moulded me, and formed me into someone I can't even recognise from my life only a year and a half ago. Its like day and night. And on the Monday just gone, I have officially been single for a year. How crazy is that? Feels like a lifetime ago.
Last year on my 22nd birthday I was still new at church and I spent it with the three women in life who came around me and are like sisters to me, In the space of a year my church family has grown considerable and this year I'll be spending my 23rd birthday with even more people I love and care about, who could ask for more?
Show me the cards.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to pursue? Thats what I honestly want to know.
Sure I get that guys don't want to be rejected, thats understandable, but by not even taking that first step you're not even opening yourselves to a 50% possible "Yes" answer. Heres a few questions for you men: are you actually putting that much on the line when you pursue? And isn't it worth the risk if its the right girl?
Okay for once and for all, I'm going to tell you how I define pursuing, since I've recieved a few emails regarding my "gung-ho" attitude about the topic and how unfair I am being to the whole male race. But first I'll tell you what I think pursing is not: Pursing is not going up to someone and telling them you like them off the bat. "Hey, I like you - how about it?" No, sorry boys. Thats not going to work in a fit, and I wouldn't be surprised if you found a restraining order on yourself the next day.
But this is what being pursued means to me: Being pursued is when a guy pays more attention to me than other girls, he takes time to come and initiate, thats right initiate converstation with me, he is honourable to me, and he makes an effort (note the word effort) to genuinely want to know me better. The guy who is pursing me has spoken to, and has recieved blessing and accountability with the leadership in the church. No, I'm not asking him to lay everything on the line and tell me straight out that he is interested, but I do expect a certain amount of effort to be shown in honor of that. I'm not one to show my heart in this area till I see this fruit, which is why I manage to remain so elusive on this topic when ever I am asked 'who do you like?'. Pfft, like I am going to say!
Its really not a matter of who I like, but who likes me? I am to be pursued (like all women should be), only when I am pursued will he know if I am interested or not. Inspite of sounding harsh here, he will need to stop calculating the risk and just do it - that is, if he wants me bad enough. I liken it to being a fish in the ocean; if a fisherman wants to catch the fish he has to buy the bait, prepare it, fix it onto the hook and then sink the line down into the water. The fisherman lowers his line into the water at the risk that he may not catch anything at all, but he knows if he doesn't even put the hook in the water he will definately catch nothing.
The fishes are swiming around in the ocean, minding their own business, fishes are not swimming around contemplating if they will get caught, or how they will get caught; they are just swimming around on their own puposeful way. That is till they are presented with the fisherman's baited hook in front of them. See, up untill that point the fish hasn't even thought about getting caught but now the bait has been presented to them fish will either look at the bait and do one of three things depending if its the right bait: the fish could look at the bait, and think "yuck, I can't eat this" and keep swimming not even registering on the fishermans line that a fish has even been near it, or a fish could go look at the bait and think "yeah I could try this" and take a small nibble, but not a big enough bit to get hooked on the hook; then if it doesn't like the bait, the fish swims away. The fisherman can feel there is a fish near the line but other than that he can't anything more to catch this fish. Or thirdly, the fish could go up to the bait and think "yum I can eat this!", take a bite and ultimately be caught by the fisherman. The fish doesn't have to make decisions about being caught till the prospect is presented to it by the fisherman, and its the same with guy/girl relationships.
A guy needs to pursue and its only when they do and present this (in one form or another) to the girl it will be then she needs to make a decision about it. Theres no decision that needs to be made till a prospect has been offered. He won't be seeing my cards till his is laid on the table first. Who knows, he may even be surprised.
Sure I get that guys don't want to be rejected, thats understandable, but by not even taking that first step you're not even opening yourselves to a 50% possible "Yes" answer. Heres a few questions for you men: are you actually putting that much on the line when you pursue? And isn't it worth the risk if its the right girl?
Okay for once and for all, I'm going to tell you how I define pursuing, since I've recieved a few emails regarding my "gung-ho" attitude about the topic and how unfair I am being to the whole male race. But first I'll tell you what I think pursing is not: Pursing is not going up to someone and telling them you like them off the bat. "Hey, I like you - how about it?" No, sorry boys. Thats not going to work in a fit, and I wouldn't be surprised if you found a restraining order on yourself the next day.
But this is what being pursued means to me: Being pursued is when a guy pays more attention to me than other girls, he takes time to come and initiate, thats right initiate converstation with me, he is honourable to me, and he makes an effort (note the word effort) to genuinely want to know me better. The guy who is pursing me has spoken to, and has recieved blessing and accountability with the leadership in the church. No, I'm not asking him to lay everything on the line and tell me straight out that he is interested, but I do expect a certain amount of effort to be shown in honor of that. I'm not one to show my heart in this area till I see this fruit, which is why I manage to remain so elusive on this topic when ever I am asked 'who do you like?'. Pfft, like I am going to say!
Its really not a matter of who I like, but who likes me? I am to be pursued (like all women should be), only when I am pursued will he know if I am interested or not. Inspite of sounding harsh here, he will need to stop calculating the risk and just do it - that is, if he wants me bad enough. I liken it to being a fish in the ocean; if a fisherman wants to catch the fish he has to buy the bait, prepare it, fix it onto the hook and then sink the line down into the water. The fisherman lowers his line into the water at the risk that he may not catch anything at all, but he knows if he doesn't even put the hook in the water he will definately catch nothing.
The fishes are swiming around in the ocean, minding their own business, fishes are not swimming around contemplating if they will get caught, or how they will get caught; they are just swimming around on their own puposeful way. That is till they are presented with the fisherman's baited hook in front of them. See, up untill that point the fish hasn't even thought about getting caught but now the bait has been presented to them fish will either look at the bait and do one of three things depending if its the right bait: the fish could look at the bait, and think "yuck, I can't eat this" and keep swimming not even registering on the fishermans line that a fish has even been near it, or a fish could go look at the bait and think "yeah I could try this" and take a small nibble, but not a big enough bit to get hooked on the hook; then if it doesn't like the bait, the fish swims away. The fisherman can feel there is a fish near the line but other than that he can't anything more to catch this fish. Or thirdly, the fish could go up to the bait and think "yum I can eat this!", take a bite and ultimately be caught by the fisherman. The fish doesn't have to make decisions about being caught till the prospect is presented to it by the fisherman, and its the same with guy/girl relationships.
A guy needs to pursue and its only when they do and present this (in one form or another) to the girl it will be then she needs to make a decision about it. Theres no decision that needs to be made till a prospect has been offered. He won't be seeing my cards till his is laid on the table first. Who knows, he may even be surprised.
"Like a lily amoung thorns is my darling amoung the maidens." - Songs of Solomon 2:2
Believing the beauty.
Mirror, Mirror on the wall; Have I got it?Everytime I see that show Extreme Makeover I feel like having plastic surgery. I mentioned this to my friends mother one night during dinner and she replied "You don't need plastic surgery!". Sure, I thought to myself, there was about 20 things I could think of, off the top of my head! But isn't that so typical? I am my own worst critic, but then again who isn't? In world that seems to value pretty things over things that really matter, its no wonder I find myself criticising myself: "If only I was taller", "If only my skin was lighter.", "If only my teeth were perfect."
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding It's not easy to be perfect
So sorry, you won''t define me
Sorry, you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
that I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
to the list of things I should do
I won't try; I won't try
You don't define me; You don't define me
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
To Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me
- 'Mirror' Barlow Girl
Growing up I had never been able to take a compliment gracefully. Whenever anyone had anything nice to say about me, especially about about how I look, I would promptly reply "whatever!" - then push it away and reject it. Oddly enough when someone had something negative to say about me, I would take it on board. Somehow it was easier to believe the negative things than the positive - I still remember every single negative comment about how I look growing up because I used to stew over it so much. Kids can be so cruel!
Sy Rogers is so right when he talks about acceptance. We all crave it, we all want to fit in. As a teenager all I wanted to be was one of those girls. You know the ones I'm talking of: the ones who are beautiful, popular, and has like, 10,000 friends. In my school days, if you were beautiful, you were popular. I felt like such an ugly duckling next to these girls, all I wanted was to be beautiful - all I wanted to be was accepted.
Looking back sometimes I wonder where I would be if I didn't find God again (Or He find me). Sometimes it scares me to imagine. Its been a slow process (the whole 'I am a Princess thing' didn't go down too well with me for an initial time being) but I realise now how valuable I am to God. I still can't help but get a bit embarrassed when people compliment me, but I remind myself I am a Princess of the King and I have learned to take compliments more gracefully.
I've learned to draw my acceptance and self worth from Him, and that no man is going to make me feel anymore loved and special than my Daddy in Heaven. Who cares what the world tries to tell me, with their trashy magazine covers and their public opinion - I have a Father that thinks so highly of me, that values me more more than rubies and pearls. I know am beautiful in His sight, after all He thoughtfully created every single part of me, and frankly - thats all that matters.
She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. - Proverbs 31:10
I'm sorry.
I am sorry God, if I didn't glorfy you today.
I am sorry if my attitude wasn't in the right place and I dwelt on the negative, when there is so much more than my human eye can really see.
I am sorry if I was insensitive of others and treated their hearts carelessly, I know you love them so much.
I'm sorry if I was a weak witness to you because I was afraid of what others might think, when I know that a spirit of fear is not from you and your sacrifice was not in vain.
I'm sorry if I didn't tend to your sheep carefully today, when I know that only when I can be entrusted with what I have now then can I be entrusted with more.
I'm sorry if I didn't trust and believe those promises as much as I should have and tried to manipulate my own way, when I know you are in control and you will sustain what you ordain.
Help me to change Lord, I am so sorry I didn't glorfy you today.
I am sorry if my attitude wasn't in the right place and I dwelt on the negative, when there is so much more than my human eye can really see.
I am sorry if I was insensitive of others and treated their hearts carelessly, I know you love them so much.
I'm sorry if I was a weak witness to you because I was afraid of what others might think, when I know that a spirit of fear is not from you and your sacrifice was not in vain.
I'm sorry if I didn't tend to your sheep carefully today, when I know that only when I can be entrusted with what I have now then can I be entrusted with more.
I'm sorry if I didn't trust and believe those promises as much as I should have and tried to manipulate my own way, when I know you are in control and you will sustain what you ordain.
Help me to change Lord, I am so sorry I didn't glorfy you today.
Gym Junkies.
1 Timothy 4:8 -Just for the record: I don't have a compulsive exercising disorder.
For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
I thought I would just put that out there since my last post people have approached me about my comment on exercising 5 times a week. I'm definitely not doing it to try to be thin, I could do that easily without going to the gym - its about being healthy and fit! For the "average" healthy individual, 3 workouts per week (about 30 minutes each) is what is needed to maintain basic fitness and health, but 4-5 workouts per week is necessary to raise fitness levels.
Trust me its hard. Its a mental struggle everytime I go, its so easy to just stay at home, relax, and sleep in but I know if I want to be able to even consider doing the City to Surf run I need to get my fitness levels up there. Afterwards I am so glad I went, because theres something about being healthy and fit that just makes you feel good about yourself. (Sounds alot like church, when sometimes you don't feel like going but in the end you're so glad you went!)
It must be all the endorphines pumping inside my brain or just sweating everything out of me - its so therapeutic. Its ironic really, considering a year and a half ago I wouldn't even dream of doing any exercise, much less pay for it. But here I am, a real regular gym junkie.
Chewing on God's truth.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New International Version)Thats it. I am resolved. I am cutting out the cakes, chocolate and biscuits out of my diet and am going to eat more fruit, vegatables and whole grain breads. I am not going to have seconds and I am going to try and hit the gym 5 times a week. As of tomorow, thats what I am going to do. I am focused.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
I am a self confessed weight watcher, but the past couple months I've really let lose on my self control. To the point, that I sometimes feel out of control. No its not enough that I have a few pieces of chocolate - I have to eat the whole block of it and its not enough I eat a couple tim tams, I have to eat the whole pack! Theres something about chocolate and sugar that is so addicting. Some people have said to me "Anna, you don't need to be on a diet!" but its not about being on a diet, its about being healthy. I can tell you for sure a whole pack of tim tams isn't healthy.
God has really been challenging me on this. Self-control has been an issue for me in this respect for a while now, and its definately not good that I seem to be developing a reputation for myself. Like people expect me to eat alot or something. Its weird. Sometimes I'll have to preplan how much I eat because of my recent tendancy to over eat, and then I will totally eat more than I planned. Thank God there is grace when I stumble. I realise that lack of self-control in itself is a sin. Lack of self control in eating reveals that a person is not in control of their fleshly appetites but instead is enslaved to fleshly indulgence.
Bibletools.org says it soberly:
Every time we enter an all-you-can-eat cafeteria, we can be tempted. Eating and drinking more than is healthy for our bodies and minds reveals a lack of self-control. This lack of resistance is similar to someone who cannot leave a bottle of liquor alone. The inability to say, "No," comes from excessive desire that takes control of us. The shoe is on the wrong foot! Instead of being under self-control, we are being controlled!Wow. Hows that for conviction?
In Rom. 12:1 describes God's will for our bodies in these words:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship.My eating habits should reflect holiness and complete submission to God who has purchased and owns me. My body is not my own, it is the property of God - I need to look after it. I will find my satisfaction in Him.
"It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God" - Matthew 4:4
The fine line of a boundary.
Doesn't it feel strange when someone totally random encroaches on your personal space? I was at church when a guy came up to me and arbitrarily gave me a hug. I was like a deer caught in headlights. Shocked by the randomness of it, I didn't know how to react. I just smiled and said "hello." - What else could I do, really?
Even thinking about it now I feel totally weirded out. This person had obviously crossed a boundary I didn't feel comfortable with, but it got me thinking about where I place my guy/girl boundarys.
At the risk of sounding like some sort of freaky relationship nazi, I have to admit I am pretty scrupulous when it comes to relationships and guarding my heart. This is something I am passionate about. Boundaries to me are so important. They guard my heart and they help me keep God the focus of everything that I do; because when we focus on Him, the blessings follow and He fulfills the desires of our hearts. The boundarys I set for myself not only helps me guard my heart but also the heart of my husband, whoever he is.
I always think to myself how my future husband would feel about certain situations with other guys; "How would he feel if I told him about this?" - If he proberly wouldn't feel comfortable with this, I shouldn't either. My boundarys is what I have to show that I have done everything in my ability to keep myself set apart for him.
I always tell others to be careful with who they share their hearts with. Guys and girls shouldn't be sharing their hearts with each other, the only time this should happen is if they were in a commited relationship together. When someone of the opposite sex shares something personal and private with you, it creates an emotional bond. If a guy who isn't even interested in pursing you shares with you something private, he is creating a bond in which he knows doesn't plan to follow through. When someone does that, you can't help but feel a little used - like all he wanted to do was get all this stuff of his chest then go on his merry way.
Your heart should be shared with your boyfriend/girfriend/husband/wife - not random people of the opposite sex. I've had people tell me personal things for the sake of telling me (not because they were interested in me or anything), and I can't help but feel like I've intruded on something that wasn't meant for me. Like I've been included in a circle of trust that I shouldn't really be a part of. A place where 3 really is a crowd. I don't want a guy sharing with me something he should really only be sharing with his (future) girlfriend or wife. How much of an 'other woman' would you feel?! Thats just too much information that I don't even want to know.
Set your boundarys, guard your heart. If you give away a part of your heart to each random person, what will you have to give your future mate? You want to have a whole heart to give to the person you finally do marry. Don't be another casualty.
Even thinking about it now I feel totally weirded out. This person had obviously crossed a boundary I didn't feel comfortable with, but it got me thinking about where I place my guy/girl boundarys.
At the risk of sounding like some sort of freaky relationship nazi, I have to admit I am pretty scrupulous when it comes to relationships and guarding my heart. This is something I am passionate about. Boundaries to me are so important. They guard my heart and they help me keep God the focus of everything that I do; because when we focus on Him, the blessings follow and He fulfills the desires of our hearts. The boundarys I set for myself not only helps me guard my heart but also the heart of my husband, whoever he is.
I always think to myself how my future husband would feel about certain situations with other guys; "How would he feel if I told him about this?" - If he proberly wouldn't feel comfortable with this, I shouldn't either. My boundarys is what I have to show that I have done everything in my ability to keep myself set apart for him.
I always tell others to be careful with who they share their hearts with. Guys and girls shouldn't be sharing their hearts with each other, the only time this should happen is if they were in a commited relationship together. When someone of the opposite sex shares something personal and private with you, it creates an emotional bond. If a guy who isn't even interested in pursing you shares with you something private, he is creating a bond in which he knows doesn't plan to follow through. When someone does that, you can't help but feel a little used - like all he wanted to do was get all this stuff of his chest then go on his merry way.
Your heart should be shared with your boyfriend/girfriend/husband/wife - not random people of the opposite sex. I've had people tell me personal things for the sake of telling me (not because they were interested in me or anything), and I can't help but feel like I've intruded on something that wasn't meant for me. Like I've been included in a circle of trust that I shouldn't really be a part of. A place where 3 really is a crowd. I don't want a guy sharing with me something he should really only be sharing with his (future) girlfriend or wife. How much of an 'other woman' would you feel?! Thats just too much information that I don't even want to know.
Set your boundarys, guard your heart. If you give away a part of your heart to each random person, what will you have to give your future mate? You want to have a whole heart to give to the person you finally do marry. Don't be another casualty.
Proverbs 4:23 - "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Whats in a blog?
Blog is short for weblog. An online Journal. A public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies, updated frequently and normally reflecting the views of the blog's creator.Some people just don't get this whole blogging thing. I guess sharing your thoughts on a website to been seen by anyone around the world may not be appealing to some - but for me it is a joy. There is something so therapeutic about it. Like art or music - its about expression. Its about getting that which is on the inside, out.
I once joked with a friend that if anyone really wanted to get to know me, they should read my blog. My blog is me, what I write on here is part of my heart. Some may think what I write may be too personal, but in all honesty, everything I write on my blog are things I would comfortable sharing in person.
John Fischer expresses my heart on the matter in his Purpose Driven Life Devotional (one of the best devotionals I've ever read):
Writers don't write about themselves because they think anyone actually cares that much. They are banking on the fact that in the process of wrestling something out of their own darkness, they can connect with that which is common to someone else. Doesn't have to be everybody, either. Just somebody.And that, my dear, is the purpose of it all. This is my life, and my testimony. That from this changed life from millions of others, may Gods Glory shine through.
Inspite of me.
I am nothing without God. I can do nothing by my own effort without Him. I know this to be true and I remind myself of this everyday.
I have been so blessed to be able to hear Nancy Alcorn, founder of Mercy Ministries, speak here at my church this past week. Everything she had to say sunk into my spirit in a way that reminded me of where I had come from, and that my old life really wasn't much different to that of those girls who walk through the doors of Mercy Ministries every day.
God has pulled me out of a miry clay that I wasn't even able to see at the time, but only in hindsight. Sometimes when we become comfortable in our own little worlds we become so blinded. Listening to Nancy Alcorn speak reminded me so much of things of my old life, things that I haven't even thought about in years. Things that I'm not so proud of, and things I wish I never did. As these things were coming up I told my friend about them as she stared at me wide eyed, unable to believe that the same person that is sitting here today used to do those things. To be honest, I can't really believe it myself. I can't believe that I used to be like that, I can't believe what a different person I am now. My old life seems like another life time ago, a whole other person.
As I sat there listening to Nancy speak, I realised it was God reminding me of where I came from. A place that wasn't so pretty, a place where I've been hurt and betrayed. I know I am a sinner of the worst kind - But thank God for his grace and mercy that I can walk forward in hope, joy and purpose because of what Jesus has done for me on the cross. I know I can do nothing right in my own effort. I know this because I have tried and failed miserably, left only to feel tired and burdened. I know this, because when I try to do things in my own strength, I couldn't even get out of bed because it felt like was too hard and beyond me. If I do anything right, its not of my own strength, but His.
I've come to realise the blessing in pushing through. There is so much blessing in obediance I can't even begin to explain. God can take a broken vessel like myself, and do amazing things. I always struggle with what to say when people commend me for something I've done or am doing, for I know it wasn't really me but God inspite of me.
I thank God every day for what He has done for me. I thank God that he has taken me from the miry clay of my old life and has changed me; transformed me, into His daughter, His princess.
Without you I am incomplete.
I have been so blessed to be able to hear Nancy Alcorn, founder of Mercy Ministries, speak here at my church this past week. Everything she had to say sunk into my spirit in a way that reminded me of where I had come from, and that my old life really wasn't much different to that of those girls who walk through the doors of Mercy Ministries every day.
God has pulled me out of a miry clay that I wasn't even able to see at the time, but only in hindsight. Sometimes when we become comfortable in our own little worlds we become so blinded. Listening to Nancy Alcorn speak reminded me so much of things of my old life, things that I haven't even thought about in years. Things that I'm not so proud of, and things I wish I never did. As these things were coming up I told my friend about them as she stared at me wide eyed, unable to believe that the same person that is sitting here today used to do those things. To be honest, I can't really believe it myself. I can't believe that I used to be like that, I can't believe what a different person I am now. My old life seems like another life time ago, a whole other person.
As I sat there listening to Nancy speak, I realised it was God reminding me of where I came from. A place that wasn't so pretty, a place where I've been hurt and betrayed. I know I am a sinner of the worst kind - But thank God for his grace and mercy that I can walk forward in hope, joy and purpose because of what Jesus has done for me on the cross. I know I can do nothing right in my own effort. I know this because I have tried and failed miserably, left only to feel tired and burdened. I know this, because when I try to do things in my own strength, I couldn't even get out of bed because it felt like was too hard and beyond me. If I do anything right, its not of my own strength, but His.
I've come to realise the blessing in pushing through. There is so much blessing in obediance I can't even begin to explain. God can take a broken vessel like myself, and do amazing things. I always struggle with what to say when people commend me for something I've done or am doing, for I know it wasn't really me but God inspite of me.
I thank God every day for what He has done for me. I thank God that he has taken me from the miry clay of my old life and has changed me; transformed me, into His daughter, His princess.
Without you I am incomplete.
